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I was wide awake, but I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling. The blowing dust and blaring traffic pressed on relentlessly, muffled by the double-paned glass. I felt trapped in a bunker in the comfort of my hotel, unable to face what waited for me outside.
What have I gotten myself into?
I had managed to delude myself into thinking I’d be able to just bop along through India unaffected by the crippling population density, apocalyptic pollution and sheer chaos. I’m tough, I thought. I can totally handle it. I’d thought I was prepared for the culture shock after hearing stories from my Indian friends, reading blogs about India – Garren and I even watched a Bollywood movie – for research purposes, of course. My Lonely Planet guidebook even made it seem easy. But no, I was woefully unprepared. The culture shock didn’t fully hit me until I was hanging out of a tuk tuk filtering air through a kleenex.
Was India an enlightening experience that opened my mind to a fascinating part of the world? Sure. But don’t think for a second that it was all beautiful temples, photogenic cows, and cardamom-scented markets. Ok, there was a lot of that. But India tested me, India was tough, and there were times I just wanted to book a flight home.
With some practice and some time, I started to get it. I even began to understand why people get hooked. I’ll be posting a survival guide and packing list later on with all the tricks I learned to help make the culture shock easier (update: here’s the survival guide, here’s the packing list), but before we jump into the good stuff I’m going to be brutally honest. There were some things in India that drove me crazy, starting with…
Trash
Every street was lined with garbage that was often swept into piles and lit on fire. The pungent smell was everywhere we went. Smoke hung in the air. How did it all get there? I felt like I was the only one who noticed it.
Would it really be so hard to put out a few trash cans?
The trash bothered me so much, that when Garren and I had some empty ice cream cups and couldn’t find a trash can anywhere, I belligerently insisted we carry them back to our room despite the truck-loads of trash we passed by on the street.
Smog
Blue skies were elusive in India. Mumbai’s skyscrapers dissappeared into fog smog. The forecast for the day was – I kid you not – “smoke,” a result of pollution in the air from exhaust and the burning of trash. Lovely.
Mumbai skyline disappearing into smog. I didn’t edit this photo at all. This is exactly how it looked.
Sunsets were consistently anticlimactic with the sun dropping into a dark grey band before escaping below the horizon. Curious about the phenomenon, I learned from Wikipedia that there is such a thing as the Asian brown cloud, a massive brown cloud of air pollution that hangs over South Asia and is visible by satellite. Eww. The things you learn when you’re bored and jetlagged at 4am…
Beautiful sunsets turned sour as the sun fell into a grey band of smog.
Rides through the streets of India meant weaving through auto rickshaws, mopeds, and cars, all spewing grey fumes that hung in the air. I played the game of taking a big breath whenever we emerged from a cloud of exhaust, then holding my breath as long as I could until the air cleared again. Often it didn’t and I begrudgingly inhaled. I may as well have attached a breathing tube to an exhaust pipe. Commutes ended in a pounding headache. Bring ibuprofen.
Traffic
It often took an hour to travel just a few miles. Indian roads and highways were a jumbled mess of every possible vehicle from cars and large trucks piled high with cargo to pedestrians, bicycles, cows, goats, and chickens.
Here we have a hand-pushed cart, an auto rickshaw, a truck with an overflowing load of grass, a moped, and a bicycle-pulled cart. The family of goats was behind me.
Cars drove on the left side of the road except when they didn’t feel like it. I also found that the only way to stop a motorbike from passing us was to point my camera out the back window.
I’ve watched this video of the show-stealing moped driver dozens of times and every time I see something crazy I didn’t notice before. See the mopeds driving the opposite direction? See the trash on the side of the road? The big cloud of exhaust? There’s not a dull moment on the streets of India.
Nowhere else have I heard so much honking and such variety of horns! Imagine what it would sound like if you dropped an ice cube down the back of someone playing a trombone. That’s what some of the bus horns sound like. And they’re honking all. the. time. Each night I drifted off listening to the circus symphony of sounds occurring outside my window. Bring earplugs.
Impossible Logistics
I’ve never had so much trouble getting from place to place as I did in India. One particularly bad example was when we tried to get from the center of Hyderabad to the outskirts of the city to meet my sister’s boyfriend’s family. Andrea’s boyfriend, Sid, spoke both Hindi and the local language, yet we still could not get a taxi, auto rickshaw, bus, or private driver to take us. Empty taxis refused us because we hadn’t booked in advance, so we downloaded the taxi booking app (using precious data) only to find that we couldn’t complete a booking because we didn’t have an Indian phone number. Sigh…
You might say, “OK, so get an Indian sim card.” We tried and failed. Apparently you have to be a current resident, not just of India, but of the Indian state you’re currently in.
For hire? Yeah, right.
Still trying to get to Sid’s family, we tried to catch a bus but there weren’t any buses heading that far outside the city. We finally found an auto rickshaw that would take us as far as our hotel and then we tried to hire a private driver from there. No luck. No one wanted to take us out and wait around to bring us back. Why was it so difficult to hire a cab?
Transport woes inspire me to take pictures of garbage.
Poverty
The USA has its share of slums, but they are so isolated that I’ve never seen them. Americans either don’t know they exist or forget they ever knew. But in India, the wealthy, the poor, and everyone in between live in such close proximity that the contrasts were glaring. Opulent skyscrapers and regal palaces stood across from crumbling concrete buildings and houses made of corrugated metal and tarp. Wealth was displayed openly and proudly, perhaps as a memory of the Old India before imperialism robbed the country of its riches.
Mercedes gleam in luxurious storefronts facing decrepit concrete buildings
Mumbai’s real estate is some of the most expensive to afford in the world. Slums fill pockets of Mumbai while new construction displaces families and businesses. The wealthy look on from tall skyscrapers.
There weren’t as many people begging and hassling us as I anticipated, but it did happen and they were quite insistent. I had to turn my heart to stone to ignore some of their pleas, but I knew the darker secrets behind many of the beggars. The sad reality is that children are sometimes snatched from their families and trafficked by a begging mafia, sending them out in troupes to beg on the streets. Children are forced to hold babies that aren’t their own, or are sometimes maimed to make people feel sorry for them. I knew throwing money at the problem would only perpetuate it, but I was kept awake wondering what their lives were like.
Many adult beggars would try to get our money through Sid (who is Indian, if you didn’t catch that). Assuming he must be our tour guide, they’d demand he give them our money, saying “You’re getting paid by them, don’t be so selfish!” It never crossed their mind he might be with us as a friend.
Respect
I was out to get sunset photos of the Chinese fishing nets in Kochi. Some guys operating the fishing net contraption encouraged me to take my photos from out on the rig. I was suspicious they wanted something in return so I asked, “is it free? You don’t want any money?” They replied “Yes, free! Please don’t pay us! Come!” I felt awkward, but I went out to get my shot, knowing it was the only way to get the perfect angle. When I was done I was walking off the rig and of course, the guy asked for money. Whatever, it was expected. He had lied to me, but I did get some good shots, so I pulled out 20 rupees (a small amount of money). He scoffed, “no, no. 100 rupees.”
The perpetrator in his gimmicky glory
OK, I know that’s not a lot of money, but he outright lied to me! I don’t tip liars! I was so frustrated with his cocky behavior that I threw the measly 20 rupee note in his face and told him “Take it or leave it,” in my meanest voice as I walked away.
This kind of thing was so common in India, and it got to be disheartening having to repeatedly shout “No!” at anyone that talked to me. Anytime I went out by myself, I was bombarded with stares and unwanted attention. I wanted to talk to people, I wanted to connect. But I also wanted people to respect me. As I was talking about it with my sister one night, I told her Sid had forgotten to teach us a key phrase in Hindi. Before I could tell her, she guessed it on the first try: “Fuck off?”
Customs
Every culture’s got this one. Everyone thinks their way is the right way, or sometimes the ONLY way! I never thought about it, but after traveling through India I have really started noticing aspects of my own American culture. It was a bit of a shock to see my own preferences met with frowns and confusion.
I had a conversation with someone about how servers at restaurants in India would dish out the food equally onto everyone’s plates. I had wanted to serve myself and take the amount that matched my appetite, but the server insisted on distributing our food for us. “It’s better that way,” he said. Good thing I didn’t tell him I served myself seconds without waiting for the server to do it for me!
Exactly 1/4 of the kebab appetizer we ordered, served by our insistent waiter.
Happy Moments
My first impressions of India were tainted by discomfort, disorganization, and disheartening moments. But each time I had a bout of pessimism or a wave of pure shock, there was always a redeeming moment that made me realize there was more to India. When I was sipping straight from a coconut in the middle of Hyderabad, taking in the Mumbai city lights, or kicking back in a hill station guesthouse, I started to feel the heartbeat of India charming me little by little. It’s a complicated country – a whole bunch of worlds all wrapped into one – and it required me to slow down, dust off a few layers, and explore deeper. There was a side of India that was worth staying for. It just took some time to find it and appreciate it.
A happy moment after raging at the Kochi fishing nets liar
So much of what I thought I knew about India was flat-out wrong. Westerners think India is all about snake charmers and yoga – a place to retreat and find inner peace. I wrote this post not to scare you away, but to introduce you more realistically to the rough side of India – the side you will see as a first time visitor. Upon first glance, this was the India that I saw. But as I got to know the country a bit better, it started to win me over little by little. That’s my plan for you. So stay tuned, and follow in my footsteps.
I couldn’t mention photogenic cows in the beginning without including a shot of a particularly handsome lass.
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Let’s talk about it. Have you experienced culture shock in India? Leave a comment below.
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i have definitely felt these things while traveling in South Asia! You never really know your values until you are tossed into a place where almost everyone thinks and does things differently than you. When I first went to India I was totally unprepared- wish I had read this ahead of time. I also think I wasn’t prepared for just the sheer amount of attention I got walking down the street. When I was alone in the north I had at least 100 photos taken of me in just one day. I wanted so badly by the end to be able to walk down a street and have people just not care!
Isn’t it funny how that works? You assume that some of your most basic assumptions are universal, but then you travel somewhere new and realize how different people think. The photos weren’t quite that bad in Hyderabad, Mumbai, or Kerala but it was still quite common! I still can’t totally understand why they like getting photos of Westerners so much!
Because westerners are some exotic creatures whom we dont get to see regularly? Your ways, attire and everything fascinates us because it is unusual. Just exactly you get fascinated by most mundane and regular activities and behaviour of ours.
Good point! I try to compare it to me seeing someone from India in the US, but it’s really not the same since we have lots of Indians living in the US and there are so few Westerners living in India.
its not just with indians, ive been to a remote place in wales with my nigerian friend and people stared at us curiously one old man even came forward and touched my friend and told him that “its the first time im seeing a black person.”
Culture shock can happen anywhere and curiosity of foreign cultures is present all over the world. Some people handle it a bit more respectfully than others, though. Hope it wasn’t too uncomfortable for you and your friend!
Hey there Sonja.
I must really appreciate the time you have taken to visit India and post this write up. I am from India and have been writing college essays on culture shock. Your blog has given me insights. Thank you <3
I hope you keep coming back to India.
Hi Sonja
greaaaaaaaaaat.
However it was a beautiful experience . How much time is necessary to eliminated the poverty and Indians inappropriate Culture s in your view؟
I would never call India’s culture “inappropriate” or try to eliminate it. If you are talking about solving some of the issues surrounding pollution and the conditions in which many people live, I would say it is something that will never be truly fixed. I have heard though, that India’s prime minister is requiring citizens to do a certain number of hours of community service to clean up the streets of India, which I think is a great step toward making some positive changes.
fabulous article, I’ve just shared on my facebook page
That means so much coming from you! I don’t know what I would have done without your blog to help prepare me for India! Even though no amount of prep can fully prepare you 😉
My partner and I are planning on spending a month in India while on our RTW trip and finally I have found a post that is honest. I can’t wait to visit India – but I am also glad I have read this as a heads up so I know what I am in for. Thank you! x
Glad to help! A month will be a good amount of time. You’ll get to adjust and enjoy it more. Good luck and have an amazing trip!
My husband and I have visited India twice in the last 6 months. We spent 3 months travelling in India back in the 70’s, so didn’t feel a cultural shock.
We spent most of the time in Rajasthan, a state with a very rich and long cultural history and the most beautiful palaces and museums etc.
On our most recent visit, we had a car (with driver) for 2 weeks and visited a number of cities off the beaten foreign tourist route. We found that we were rarely stared at in these places, and no-one was interested in taking our photos there.
We found the odd person who wanted to take advantage of us, as in the experience above, but overwhelmingly, we found people were helpful and friendly. One person even chased after me to give my camera back when I had inadvertently left it behind.
Btw When we visited the Chinese Fishing nets in Cochin last November, a fisherman invited me to come up for a closer look. I told him I didn’t have any money. “That’s okay, come up.”. I spent ages watching the fisherman, and when I left the fishing rig, there was no sign of anyone expecting me to give them money. Experiences vary!
My advice to anyone travelling in India would be to observe sensible caution, look beyond the poverty, and enjoy the experience.
I would go back to India tomorrow if I could!
I wanted to visit Rajasthan so badly but it wouldn’t work with our schedule this time. It is high on my list for next time, along with some other northern cities. You hit on some of the major points I plan to make in a future post on how to handle culture shock and make the transition easier. Having a car and driver for an extended period is seriously one of the smartest things you can do, in my opinion. And yes, experiences do vary! I didn’t mention it in this post (saving it for later) but immediately after my bad experience with the Kochi fishing net guys, I had a heartwarming and sweet experience with a different set of fishing net guys! Each day we had fewer issues with culture shock and more positive experiences that couldn’t be found anywhere else in the world. It is such a layered country!
Very true Jillian. I visited in 2013-2014 (Oct to Mar) and even had flat tire on way to Leh. My driver stopped three cars and eventually selected the one with family including women to request them to wait with me. The wife and two kids waited with me in car. The woman’s husband took my driver to the nearest town, about 33 miles (one way). Got mechanic. Fixed up tire and even offered to drop mechanic back. I thanked them and dropped him in my car. This is just one example. I sometimes feel, we westerners highlight poor experiences about other countries and cultures a lot more than the positive ones. If I save more money, I would go back in a heartbeat!
With all the bad that India has, if you can look past it then it is an amazing place…
it is all about perspective
It truly is. I am excited to share some of my more positive experiences! But it wouldn’t be fair to only talk about one side now would it?
Ouch!!! That was hard to read. But what you say is definitely true. I’m Indian and have lived in Washington, DC, for over 30 years. But we have visited India every year for the past 5 years. I want to make sure my very Americanized kids know where they come from. And if I wasn’t Indian, I don’t think I would love India like I do. Because I often wonder how westerners cope with the culture shock that India brings. I admire them for being brave and open minded. Thanks for the hard but truthful observation of India on a first glance. But I do hope that you have grown to love/like India with all its good and bad like I have. Cheers.
Thanks for making it to the end! I agonized over this post before publishing it, knowing it would stir up a lot of emotions, especially from my Indian friends. Thanks for taking the time to read something that I’m sure was tough to hear. I think it’s great that you’re teaching your kids where they are from. That kind of perspective is invaluable. The more time I spent in India, the more I started “get it” and things started just falling into place. The last few days of my trip were some of the best I’ve had traveling, and it got me fixed on the idea of going back! Next time I’m thinking northern India! HOpe you’ll stick around for my happier posts too!
Your article rang so many bells with me. I absolutely hated my first two days in India, which happened to be in a cold, wet Delhi. By day 3, India was growing on me. So much so that I came home at the end of my trip and re-booked to go back. Hard to explain to people back home what it is that makes India so fascinating. I can only say that it gets under your skin. I would go back again in a heartbeat. Great article, warts and all.
Isn’t it so weird how that transition occurs? Some of the things you just get used to, but others you learn to work your way around, and once those tough barriers are torn down, the India everyone raves about starts to peek through more and more. Such a hard thing to describe, but it sounds like you had a similar experience! Thanks for popping by!
I am indian and i in india by choice, and very proud to be indian despite all the nonsense .however it is not for everyone,and i agree with all that you have written.infact i tell anyone a little starry eyed about india, plz read sarah mcdonald , the aussie writer’ book, ‘the holy cow.’.
I wont be able to share even thoguh a part of me wants to, lot of people can be prepared as to wht is in store for them,but you see it is hard to say ‘ hullo, come look how dirty my home is.’
But all in all , thank you for being honest.
I was so nervous about how my Indian readers would respond to this article, and I have to say, everyone has been so composed, kind, and open. I don’t know if I would have that much class. Kudos to you guys. And I promise, this was the harshest it gets! The next posts are all about what I loved about India!
And I’ll have to check out that book 🙂
you have read India quite correctly w.r.t. how complexly layered it is with good and bad. I however beg to disagree on some imprudent generalizations on southasia based on your indian experience. I must say Srt Lanka and Bhutan are almost devoid of those things you have found to be irritating… (more more than 10% of the level at which you experience those in india. huge population and shortsighted policies of few goct. in past have become deadweight upon india from which most of these problems(which one might prefer not to call as probelsm, but definitely are things that any sane and civilized person would find irritating) I like india very much and all its goodness and good people. but i should reassert with absolute confidence that Sri Lanka and Bhutan are scores of miles apart from india in these aspects
Oh my, I hope I didn’t imply that my experience applied to all of South Asia! I certainly didn’t mean to. I’ve never been to Sri Lanka or Bhutan so I can’t comment on what it’s like there. Just another reason to visit, I guess!
“In my meanest voice…” Girl. You kill me. I died with this article. It’s exactly how I felt about India!! If you get a chance, go to my blog and search for the “cinderblock” and “kumbh mela” articles. You won’t believe what we went through! Travel isn’t always puppies and unicorns. It’s still life – and in life sometimes bad things happen and it’s ok to hate a place. It’s allowed! India chewed us up and spit us out, then stomped on us, ripped up our clothes and gave us the middle finger. It’s not for everyone. Ironically some of my dearest travel memories are from India, but I’ll never go back.
Holy crap, just finished reading all 3 cinderblock and 3 kumbh mela posts of yours, boy did you have a rough time!!! I died laughing at your photo captions. It may not have been fun but you sure got a good story!
For me India was by far the worst experience in my life. I had food poisioning which many people get.
With food poisioning I mean high fewer and constant vomiting and diaria for 3 straight days. Keep in mind there are no western style toilets and you are too weak to even stand, plus no toilet paper. After that I counldn’t eat for the rest of the trip.
I was in constant fear of being robed. Sick beggars always trying to grab your arm and touching you was bad too. The whole time it was a constant struggle to find clean water and food or a room with electricity and running water. One more annoying thing is that everybody tries to rip you off. So baically every time you spend money you feel bad.
I remember one day when we where in the very south trying to enjoy the sunset on the beach and a group of 20 forming behind us all waiting to sell you something and rip you off.
Once we did a jeep trip to the desert. My gf and I were sitting in the back seats, but had to switch seats because the driver was always adjusting the mirrow to have a good view and stare at my gf.
The only good thing about India is that it makes you more aware about yourself, because of the extreme situation you find yourself in.
Up until last year I thought, that the extreme poverty naturally forces people to be like this, but in Nov. 2014 I vistited Nepal which is much poorer gdp wise and next to India. People were friendly, supportive and everything was very clean.
Can anyone explain to me why India is such a mess?
Ooph I feel for you. That sucks you had such a bad experience. Thank GOD I didn’t get sick and we stayed in very nice places so that helped us stay more comfortable. India isn’t for everyone, that’s for sure, but did you at least have some good experiences? Sometimes I felt like it was luck of the draw whether things worked out or not.
i completely agree with you that it is an extreme situation in india..its like a boot camp for me..makes me strong..i am a local..i have been in india for 5 years after being abroad in the middle east for 10 years..
I am unemployed despite being an experienced dentist from a very good college in Mumbai..
the clinics which require dentists are not well equipped and sometimes dangerous in my view to work in..
people in india..are not willing to see things as they are..they consider you to be a negative person if you talk of the bad situation and always advise you to adjust to indian conditions..men are extremely disrespectful to women,and are always leching and leering and trying to bump into you by mistake..you get no support for society as it s a male worshipping society,no matter hwo bad they are…people are usually rude in the way they look at you,respond to you and in their body language..the one good thing is I don’t feel lonely here as I did when was abroad..there is plenty of sunlight..i feel rooted and stronger emotionally here than when I was abroad..
My heart goes out to you Venus. That is a very difficult situation to be in and even harder being a woman in India. You bring up some of the things that I didn’t necessarily mention, but that are so incredibly important to talk about. It isn’t something that can be fixed overnight, or even in a few years, but I hope that by getting more and more people to talk about these things, more people will join the fight to improve conditions for Indian women. It takes a strong woman to face these things with confidence.
I have travelled alone throughout India and must admit that on my first trip the rubbish did surprise me but I get it now. All food waste thrown on the street feeds all the animals – cows, chickens, pigs, dogs etc. All burnable waste is retrieved to be used on fires which it are common everywhere there are wood burning fires for cooking. String, wire, large bits of wood etc are reused by anyone who needs them. The only real problem is plastics and this is a 20th century invention. Before plastics all the rubbish would have a use. Blame the inventors of plastics who could have never foreseen the massive destruction of our environment that would result. As a lone female traveller I must keep my wits about me at all times but I am totally hooked. We westerners have lost the passion, spirit, culture and patience that can be found in India in spades. Every trip teaches me so many lessons.,
This is the kind of thing I find fascinating! It’s really nice to learn the reasons behind the madness. I knew the animals ate the food waste but I didn’t realize it was intentionally put out for them. The burning of all the waste is still quite an issue with all of the pollution it releases, but without a major overhaul of infastructure it’s going to be hard to resolve. We need more people thinking and talking about these things so someone comes up with a solution!
Well, as we Indians are exotic in western world so are you in our world.
Indeed 🙂
Appreciate your honesty. India isn’t really for faint hearted!;) It has its share of dirty, chaotic and some extremely beautiful and breath taking places. This is a land of wonderful extremes and that is what makes it different from the rest of the world!:)
It absolutely is. I’ve never seen so much contrast and so many different worlds as when I traveled in India. Sure, some parts are a little rough around the edges, others are downright tragic, but there are also incredibly beautiful, powerful, and heartwarming sides of India as well. Just took a little time to see them.
Well..I have no idea what did u expect from India? How could you be so surprised over garbage? Tuk tuk drivers? Poverty?
Transportation..hmm u guys would just have to hop on a bus or train..never had a problem with that kind of things.
It’s not that I didn’t expect it, I just didn’t realize how all of that would make me feel since I’d never experienced it first hand. Of course everyone knows about the poverty, garbage, traffic, etc. But it was experiencing those things that really affected me, not just knowing they existed. Also some places were much easier to get around than others. Most of our transportation woes were from Hyderabad, which was particularly difficult to find transportation unless we were “in the know”. You know?
There’s no point putting out trash cans in public areas. They get stolen. The only place you’ll find them is in the mall, cinemas or railway stations.
Huh, I hadn’t thought of that. It’s really too bad. What do you think would be a step in the right direction?
Yes, India is chaotic, noisy, dirty, polluted & much more. I totally understand your first impressions of the country! I’ve been living in the US for the last 28 years & always give the good with the bad to my American friends who’re interested in visiting my home country some day! I don’t sugarcoat anything. Wish you had time to head to the India outside of the big cities. To the northeast & north with the Himalayas in the background, the states of Kashmir & Himachal Pradesh to experience the serenity & stunning beauty of Ladakh, Spiti valley, the hills of Uttarakhand, experienced the evening prayers in Haridwar by the river Ganges, seen the beauty & majesty of the state of Rajasthan, the backwaters and coffee plantations of Kerala, the Portuguese culture in Goa, it’s beaches, visited the stunning temples of the south, the national parks, the ruins of Hampi in Karnataka & so much more..
India is so much more than it’s smog filled big cities (my hometown in the Himalayas has clean air & blue skies!) a few scam artists, gawkers, beggars.. There’s a reason westerners – once they get over the initial shock -fall in love with this crazy country!
India is not everyone’s cup of tea for sure! I hope you get to visit again & this time head to the places I mention. Not in the summertime but early fall or winter! You won’t be disappointed 🙂
You listed a lot of really incredible places that I am itching to go visit next time. But I did actually get out of the cities and spend some time in Kerala. We were in Fort Kochi and Munnar and Munnar was gorgeous. Just what the doctor ordered 🙂
If there’s one thing I learned from my trip, India takes much more time than most places to see. With 2 weeks and just a couple destinations, I still didn’t feel like we had enough time in each place (but that is the reality of having a full time job and limited time off in the US). When I do it again, I would want to be able to spend more time in each place and explore outside the cities a bit longer, like you said. Even so, India is such a huge country, I could never explore the whole thing!
I travelled to India (Bangaluru) for the first time a couple of months ago and can certainly relate to some of the things you experienced. I think I was ready for most of it. From a North American perspective, it’s eye opening because of the differences in culture and the right-in-your-face poverty and infrastructure issues. In the end, I felt remarkably (and sometimes embarrassingly) privileged. Valuable experience.
Just one point to clarify in your post. You can get a SIM card as a tourist. It is a very cumbersome process whereby you have to get a letter from your hotel, fill out lengthy forms, and include passport-type photos with your application. My husband went through the whole thing and was successful. That will be the subject of an upcoming blog post of mine as I think many people would find the process overwhelming.
Thanks for your honest post.
Thank you for the clarification! That sounds like VERY valuable information, so I’d love it if you linked to your upcoming post when it’s ready 🙂
Thanks!
Will definitely link to my post on buying a SIM in India. Thanks for the invitation to do so.
Of course. Look forward to finding how how it’s done. (We struggled SO much!)
Hi Sonja, here is my post on how the steps to get a SIM card in India. Hope it helps others. It’s certainly cumbersome, but doable.
http://tagalongtravel.com/how-to-get-a-sim-card-in-bangaluru-india/
Perfect, thank you Deb!
Actually, I’m not so sure you got the India experience. I feel like you got the regular 3rd world experience instead. Basically, with the possible exception of Mumbai, the other places on your list are not very representative of India. They are just like generic 3rd world countries with a greater than average amount of pollution. As you start to go deeper south, the local culture and the feel of the place starts to resemble South East Asia a lot. And the places, while probably still bad by advanced country standards, are not even close to as bad as poor countries can get.
If you want a full blown Indian experience with utter chaos and dysfunction and the occasional rough diamonds here and there, you need to visit the northern areas. Shit gets real crazy there.
Is there just one “India experience”? I’ve been saying and hearing from other people that India is so many worlds wrapped into one big country. I don’t think it’s fair to say that one person’s experience is not representative. It just may not be the Indian experience that you have had.
Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “generic 3rd world countries” but I think many people would find that pretty offensive. Each country has its own personality that makes it unique – 3rd world or not.
I would like to visit northern India, but that’ll have to be another trip 🙂
Yeah there are mini Indias within India. It’s more like Europe with each Indian state like a different country with it’s own unique cuisine language customs etc. Too diverse! and though I’ve lived here all my life when I move from state to state and within the same state too I get cultural shocks too with the diverse folks I meet and their views but that goes for the world too. 😀 I guess it’s tough to stereotype coz each individual is different and each place in India is so varied. I love the beauty of India in those remote places like Darjeeling not the ones in our chaotic Indian cities. 🙂
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That’s a good way of describing it. Each region is so different. I can see how you would feel some culture shock moving from state to state within India. I’d love to visit Darjeeling, and some of the other more remote areas next time!
Hi Sonja,
Great post! I totally agree how the culture shock upon first visit to India can be insane and it’s hard to properly prepare for it…
I recently released all my tips for India travel in my “201 India Travel Tips: The Ultimate Survival Guide” which I think would help all first time India travelers to read before going there. Here it is http://asherfergusson.com/india-travel-tips/
P.S I shared your post on my FB page https://www.facebook.com/IndiaTravelTips
Cheers,
Asher.
Loved your tips! All 201 of them 🙂
Thanks for sharing the post on your facebook page!
Aloha! Just wanted to say I really enjoyed this article. I had the same experience in India!!! I too knew it would be difficult to travel in, but holy shit, I still wasn’t prepared for it. The pollution, heat, constant staring and people trying to scam me were the worst!!! It was such an up and down experience for me, sometimes I would be in utter awe and in love with India, other times id absolutely hate it and wished I was sonewhere else! I remember the feeling of relief I had when I was flying back to hawaii and the plane lifted off the ground in Delhi. Haha!!! I too was so disheartened by the air pollution and the burning trash everywhere. It was hard to breathe. I wrote a story recently also about being culture shocked in India, u can check it out at wanderfullylost.com if your interested! I love reading any stories about peoples impressions of India!! Haha.
Aloha! Hawaii is one of my favorite places in the world. I was on the Big Island last year, which was the jumping point for this blog, and I’ll be returning to Maui in December. Cannot wait!
That’s exactly it, isn’t it – you know what to expect when you’re going to India, but you get there and you’re still overwhelmed by it! I hear you on the up and down part. Some days would be just perfect and the next would be a nightmare.
really?! I live in Pahoa on the Big Island 🙂 It is a pretty magical place! and Maui is gorgeous 🙂 Aloha!
My wife and I live on Maui!
Look us up when you come! 🙂
We’re planning to go to India in late December but otherwise we should be here…
No way! I’ll have to do that! I’ll be there early December.
I think backpackers & budget travelers experience a very different India from upper middle or upper class. I visited palaces, spas and saw a lot of dance and music shows. In my view, in developing countries your experiences would vary a lot depending on how much you want to spend & how you want to travel. I never took any local buses or even trains. Only flew and for Leh trip rented an SUV with a driver! It was the best! You rightly said, “The USA has its share of slums,but they are so isolated that I’ve never seen them. Americans either don’t know they exist or forget they ever knew.” We have clearer segregation of rich and poor in the West. Even our kids raise money for Africa instead of kids living in poverty in our own cities. I remember after hurricane Katrina many of my friends in DC just shocked at the “Africa-like” images. That’s how much in a bubble we live in the West. I also feel we don’t have tourists who visit slums in western countries or lines of homeless & junkies, but we are fascinated and shocked by poverty in developing countries. At some level, it is amusing. My friend’s sister and mother always get stopped for photos in US and even when we visited Poland, because of beautiful jewelery, henna and gorgeous silk saurees (don’t know exact spelling, Indian costume). But they never complain or blog about it. For me biggest struggle in India was to let go of being connected (cell phone, iPads etc.) all the time and now I am so used to not connected and having good conversations that I am usually the only one sitting with friends in a restaurant and not on fiddling on phone 🙂
It’s true that there are definitely different ways to visit India and your experience can vary greatly, not just on your budget, but on what style of travel you like to do. I like to do things on my own and explore, but India is a tough place to do that until you’re a little more experienced with the country. I think having a driver, like you said, is the best (easiest) way to go about it and can resolve so many potential issues.
As for poverty in the US, it’s definitely something that people here can easily ignore. It’s the sad reality of how our country is set up. It’s easy to live life in the US without being reminded of our privelage, but in India you have a daily reminder because everyone is in such close proximity.
Great post, Sonja! I’ve been thinking a lot about visiting India lately and I don’t think I’d do it for the first time without a tour guide, or friend like Sind. Asia in general is definitely a whole other being and it’s hard to appreciate some of the differences sometimes, but it sounds like you’re definitely on your way. Love this! Will share <3.
Thanks for checking it out Neysha! A lot of people visit India solo, but I do think it would be easier and more fun if you had a travel companion. Even better if they are familiar with the country. Language will always likely be a barrier because unless you stick to one state in India, the preferred language will change as you move from city to city. Fortunately, we had no trouble with English in most places. Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it!
Indian here. Whatever you say about India, the garbage, the traffic, the attitude is all true. I am horrified at the levels of pollution and the indifferent attitude of the officials. It is sad, and it shows that most Indians do not care for their environment, and surroundings. It is also a reflection of a society and culture focused on Me, Myself and my family. Such a narrow focus leads to negligence of the larger civic society. And that is what is one sees on the roads, traffic etc.
It’s a really interesting situation and I have been wondering what historical events or influences led to that way of thinking. It may just be a survival instinct that has manifested from poor conditions common in post-imperialist countries. What do you think?
Wow. I am amazed at how many comments you have got, so my gut feeling might be correct. I felt that you are going to be a very good writer, and you have a style that is very warm and honest and appealling. I do think you are being incredibly negative about the worst aspects of India. Which seems such a waste of time considering the reality that it may be a once in a lifetime dream to visit faraway places. The population is vast, and so the sheer numbers of people out in the streets is overwhelming. I wish people would consider how many places in India where you will not see one speck of rubbish. I lived for a long time in a small temple town and all the foreigners complain about the rubbish. Guess what, you go three streets towards town, and you do not find so much as a leaf out of place. It is us that bring the zillions of bottles of water and the trash that can not be easily got rid of, in so many cases.
To come to India and not write about the colour, the textiles, the fabrics, the saris, the elegant ladies, the zillions of exquisite trees, birds, galleries, museums, schools, restuarants, temples, and write just about the dirt, and the pollution does seem a bit mad to me.
I think you are a great writer, and I think preparing people for culture shock is really relevant. I think people must forget about what we imagine the world should look like from our limited perspective, and for that I salute you to really get to the visitor’s heart and prepare them. London has dirty grey skies, Tokyo has dirty grey skies, Los Angeles has dirty grey skies, and so does Beijing. There are so many places in India where you will see exquisite nature and mountains and rivers, and clear horizons, but stopping in a city or few, and expecting Modernity to just go away is our own folly. India is a very modern continent, and city pollution is a reality.
Paying a fisherman one dollar to climb on his boats to get a photo that could realistically be published and win awards, seems really ungenerous. Would you let a tourist climb on your home verandah to catch a good picture of a real american doing their laundry, and what would be your price?
Sorry, but coming to India to argue over the price of rickshaws and whether or not to pay a person a dollar seems to be missing the point. No such thing as a free lunch as the saying goes. In the US a cappucino in Starbucks costs $3 and it is common to tip the staff.
I will read the forthcoming blogs because you do have a lovely heart, as is obvious from your thoughtful replies to everyone. You are a great writer, but I want to hear about your real trip and what really happened, not just the moans and groans……
You bring up a lot of points, and I will do my best to address each of them. First, thank you for the compliments on my writing. I, too, am surprised and thrilled by how many comments I have received so far! This has opened up a discussion that I think is important for travelers planning to visit India as well as for Indian citizens to reflect on some of these issues.
This introduction reflects some of the first impressions and difficulties that a traveler like myself might face when visiting India for the first time. It is negative, yes. I don’t deny that. But this is, after all, a blog that reflects my personal experiences in a place. If I experience culture shock and I think that information is relevant for my readers then I’m going to write about it. My goal is not to “sell” a destination, but to prepare people for it.
I made it clear in the post that this is an introduction to a long series of articles about India. My travels in India were tough at times, but overall it was a very positive experience. As I publish more articles and tell the complete story, you will see how my initial culture shock transitioned to a greater appreciation and understanding of the country. I don’t pretend to know everything about India – but I’ll share my experiences and do what I can to help readers visit India in the most rewarding way possible.
Tourism – both foreign and domestic – has certainly taken its toll on many cities in India, but I think it’s unfair to imply that foreigners are responsible for most of the trash and pollution of the environment in India. Throughout my entire travels, I must have seen fewer than 100 Westerners and hundreds of thousands of Indians – both local and tourists. All that trash couldn’t possibly be from us.
I’ve been to London and Los Angeles, and yes, they both have some problems with smog and pollution. But it would be misleading to compare them with Indian cities such as Hyderabad and Mumbai (and others, I imagine). The burning of trash and prevalence of smokey fires for cooking coupled with the lack of emmission standards for motor vehicles cause Indian cities to suffer from higher levels of pollution. There are a lot of reasons for why India has these problems, many of them revolving around lack of government regulations (or the ability to enforce them), poverty, and lack of infastructure as these cities grow and modernize more rapidly than they are equipped to handle. It’s unfortunate, it’s not pretty, but it’s reality.
India has such a beautiful side as well, and of course I do not plan to ignore that in future articles. While I don’t normally disclose my plans for what I will post in advance, you should know that my upcoming articles will (hopefully) be more to your liking. I published this post first for a reason. I wanted to make a point that I don’t plan to sugar coat anything from this trip. It’s going to rock the boat a bit (and already has, clearly!) but this blog is a reflection of my experience and I think it’s important to be honest regarding both the good and the bad experiences I encounter on my travels.
Like I think I mentioned in another reply (see above), I had a very positive experience with a different group of fisherman at the Fort Kochi fishing nets immediately after being manipulated and lied to by the first guys I mentioned. I tipped second guys several hundred rupees for their kindness and honesty, and appreciated how genuine they were in contrast to the inappropriate behavior of the first fisherman. Like I said before, I don’t tip liars. Think that’s wrong? Chalk it up to American culture, I guess.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment and add to the discussion, and I hope you will stick around to hear the full story. Moans, groans, and all.
dear sonja, i had posted a comment earlier, and i am following up with one more.
Yes the garbage ,the corruption ,misogyny all pushes us indians toward greener pastures .the loneliness we experience in western countries is so painful ,just going back home is all we desire after sometime.
Following is a youtube link, i wish you could understand tamil ,a southindian language.it is about the young expats in al the european countries and america..their pain .https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fLIBXRS_FCo.how lonesome they feel.
I do have a request, i know you are under pressure after writing this post to write soemthing good about india, but my request to you is please dont.that will eb patronising. You are young and had a bad deal with my country. I a, sorry about that.
Loneliness is a part of extended foreign travel for any culture. No one can be blamed for wanting to go home to what is comfortable. I think for many, that’s just human nature. When the culture you immerse in is so radically different from your own, it can make that transition even harder.
As for your request, I’ll say this. I’ve had my blog posts for India laid out for a month or so, and I’ve been thinking about how I want to present my story for even longer. I have no plans to change the story, even after all of the controversy that has unfolded over this article. But I think you’re going to like what comes next.
I lived in India for 3 months and I always find it interesting to read about other people’s experiences, and this was.
Thanks, Mani, for reading!
Wow, this is a really, really great post Sonja! I think it’s so important for travel bloggers to write the truth, even if the truth is hard to swallow.
I think you would have done your readers a real disservice if you had just glossed over all of the negative things you encountered on your travels, and instead created a story that focused only on the positives, because a story like that wouldn’t be real. Based on the feedback you’ve already received, it seems that your readers definitely do value real-ness!
Thanks for the support Kelly! That means a lot!
I am of Indian origin and I lead tours from North America/Europe to India. I fancy myself as a cultural bridge. There’s so much of India that is inexplicable to Westerners (garbage, poverty, women’s rights etc) just as there is much about the West that makes no sense to Indians (divorce, abandoning old people in nursing homes, narcissism – me vs we culture, etc). I’ve observed repeatedly that Westerners begin accepting India when they acknowledge failings of our western culture, and conversely begin noticing what’s right about Indian culture — and not one moment sooner.
Sounds like someone needs to write about culture shock in the USA from an Indian perspective! Bet it would be quite a hit among the Indian community!
Working on it as we speak! From my travels, I am compiling anecdotes about culture shock and reverse culture shock. Hoping for a 3 part lightly fictionalised and humourous series.
Sounds like a fun read!
A culture shock is always a two-way thing. The middle and upper class Indians probably get less culture shocked in the US than the other way round, because a large number of them have been exposed to the US via Hollywood and other ways, but everything is a two way process 🙂
Hi there, finally someone who says it exactly how it really is… Even though India was great adventure, my culture shock was so huge I wasn’t able to take any pictures for the first few days. I was just amazed, and not in a good way… it really gets better and easier after few days though… 2 years on, I would love to go back again. Knowing exactly what to expect… unfortunately my boyfriend has different opinion… India is amazing country but it is not for everyone…
Yeah culture shock can make you want to hole up in your hotel room and never come out! But I’m so glad I did, because I did eventually get the hang of it, like you said. But there were times I just wanted to teleport back home! I think, like a lot of commenters have said, it’s easier if you spend some time in more rural areas away from the craziness of the big cities. Many visitors don’t get to see that side, unfortunately.
what a debated and pretty post Sonja.
Thanks!
Wow, Sonja, what a fascinating post! I’ve never traveled to India, but as a westerner I’m sure I would definitely notice and be bothered by all of the same things. Most shocking to me was the juxtaposition and stark contrast of the wealthy and poor communities that stirred up some real emotions. Your post is a fresh perspective from all the idealized images I’ve associated with India, and I appreciate the blunt honesty of your experiences. I hope you do continue to write truthfully and completely, as it is the true human experience, whether similar or different from our own, that is absolutely captivating for your readers (as evidenced by the plethora of comments you’ve received – nice work!)
I guess I’m curious – what DID Lonely Planet warn you about?
Thanks Becky! Hope the move to Leipzig went well! Lonely Planet didn’t totally ignore these things, but it glossed over them and the wording made it seem like you could just brush it all off. I think they covered their bases by discussing it, but they covered it so briefly and with an “incredible India” tone that it minimized the warning. After a few sentences about the poverty, bureaucracy, and population issues they say “yet this is all part of the India experience. With an ability to inspire, frustrate, thrill and confound all at once, adopting a ‘go with the flow’ attitude is wise if you wish to retain your sanity. Love it or loathe it – and most travelers see-saw between the two – to embrace India’s unpredictability is to embrace its soul.”
I guess the point I was making with the title is that no guidebook will be able to fully prepare you for the culture shock, since reading about it and being immersed in it are two wildly different experiences.
As an indian by birth , myself is scared to travel outside the comfort zone of my state kerala , i can imagine how much of a cultural shock a westerner might have.
It can be daunting to put yourself in those situations, but I always find it worth it in the end. I think the more I put myself out there, the easier it gets. I’m curious, what types of things are you most worried about when it comes to traveling to other parts of India?
mostly pollution , cleanliness and similar issues , im not saying kerala is super clean but from what i`ve heard or seen on tv its worse in rest of india.
One of the questions I get asked all the time is why I haven’t been to India yet, and I have to say, I just don’t feel the pull… I know it’s a must for so many people, but for some reason it doesn’t excite me! Maybe it’s the fact that the negatives weigh more heavily than the positives when I picture the country, and maybe also the feeling that it’s so big I wouldn’t know where to start… Anyway, that’s just my personal taste. I liked the honesty of your post!
I have heard that from a few people before. I think there shouldn’t be any set list of places every traveler MUST visit. It is all dependent on the person, and everyone is driven to see different places. I’m still glad I went, even with all of the bad things. There were a lot of really good things I loved that were so unique to India, I won’t find them anywhere else.
I am so nervous about going to India, it seems like the holy grail of challenging travel destinations! I am planning to spend a lot of time in the Himalayas and Kerala so I am hoping it isn’t so crazy in these areas!
I can’t speak for the Himalayas (though I encourage you to check out Ashley Abroad’s posts from her Himalayan trek). Kerala, though, was much calmer and more peaceful especially as we moved up into the mountains near Munnar. India is indeed challenging, but just don’t put so much pressure on yourself to feel a certain way and you will be ok. It’s totally fine to feel frustrated at times, and you will. But there will be times when India throws you a curve ball, in a really good way, and you’ll be so glad you went.
This is a great post. And yes, India can give you a headache LOL!
I went to India for the first time in 2005 and I have no idea what I expected but as soon as I got there, I was told that the room that I had paid for and confirmed by both fax and telephone was no longer available, and to go to another hotel at 3a.m! I was so scared of walking the Delhi street at that ungodly hour that I insisted that they find me a room. And lo and behold, my room was suddenly available! I soon learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt.
I went to India solo and the noise and the time it took to get anywhere soon took a toll. Especially, the noise. I’m a very light sleeper and I could never sleep a wink. I live in Germany. I’m spoilt by efficiency!
I had a great time though and learnt a lot about India. Just not what I expected LOL! And would I go again?
Of course!
You know what, we had a similar experience with our first hotel when we arrived, except in reverse. We had originally booked two rooms, and then in the months and weeks leading up to our trip we called several times trying to cancel one of them (but the room still showed up on our online reservation each time). We get there and they say they have two rooms for us, of course, so we had to go through it all again! Then when we checked out, they still thought we had two rooms. I’m just glad they (somehow?) didn’t charge us for both! Oh India… 😉
India is special, it is very different and unusual. Yes, there is smog, the air is unpleasant and trash is everywhere, but there is something magical and divine out there.
It’s a country of many personalities, indeed.
Sonja, amazing. I am sitting in my room in Delhi, my friend is at work and I can not bring myself to go out without her. It is so overwhelming, to the point that I can’t breathe. I knew it was going be different, but totally not prepared. I love being here and experiencing everything. Maybe I need a few more days…
I totally feel you. Don’t feel bad or guilty about experiencing culture shock, just accept it as being totally normal. Then find just one thing that you want to go do or see in Delhi, even if it is just going for a short walk and taking pictures, and just force yourself to do it. Having just one activity planned instead of a whole day, and knowing that you will be back in your hotel room soon will hopefully make it easier and less stressful to go out. Then little by little you will start to feel more comfortable and be able to enjoy it! It’s a balance of pushing yourself past your comfort zone and knowing when enough is enough so you don’t totally freak out! It DOES get better, I promise.
Not everyone is as strong-minded as you, I booked an overexpensive one way ticket to go back home 5 days after I arrived in India for a month’s stay (its actually more expensive than my initial round-trip) . I had had enough of a “feeling” of India and didn’t see how 4 more weeks would enrich my experience.
you told us about bad things of India its not the fault of India every country has some bad places and your choice of places to travel in India is wrong. I will give you the link of my favorite places that i visited in India make sure you check out those places and next time experience a wonderful pleasure in India just like me. your lack of knowledge causes this problem anyways thanks. If you dare then approve this comment because the truth is hidden in this comment otherwise I will think you are a coward. Thanks
this is my link everybody check it out
India is not for introverts..
I am so grateful for this article that you’ve written. I’m currently sitting in my hotel room in Delhi at 7am crying my eyes out, trying to find any reason to see the next two weeks through. We started in Amritsar for a few days, which is full of Indian pilgrims but not so many westerners. I got hit hard with intestinal issues from who-knows-what and a head cold from the pollution three days ago, on our first night here in Delhi. I’m trying to see the beauty, I’m trying to understand the people, I’m trying to enjoy the culture and history, but I was in no way prepared for the culture shock. Every kind stranger drags us into a situation attempting to separate us from our money. My partner had a related experience with a rickshaw driver (who took him to a hidden gem of a Jain temple for “whatever he thought it was worth afterward”, then rediverted him to two shops instead of returning to the railway station as promised) as you had with the fishing boat. Feeling constantly lied to and manipulated whenever people appear to be kind is exhausting. It almost seems better to cut the trip short and return home instead of losing my trust and kindness just to survive here. Your experience is the only thing giving me hope that I may be able to find some sort of balance. Thank you.